I’m a bit late with a new year post and ordinarily write a piece that is longer and more complex. Each year I identify a word or idea that I will apply to frame some activity. Last year it was ‘deep’ or ‘depth’ indicating a desire to delve and engage more deeply into fields, places, ideas – even falling into the depths of my mostly solitary life. While that has been a mostly rewarding and reflective process enabling me to do a lot of work and making, I emerge from it with a desire to focus and perhaps commit.
For this year, I am seeking to commit (or commitment), to refine and chart a pathway that reaps more than the busywork of juggling multiple projects and generating lists of outputs that sit on a CV as achievements or value. How this commitment or dedication manifests is yet to be seen. It could be a new job that supplants the stream of precarious part time and casual employment; it could be a more focused approach to my research and practice; it could be consolidation.
My partner and I were talking about how to manage this strange life of ours with him working/living remotely for much of the year. While our commitment to each other is predictably unwaning, it is a challenging situation that requires care and consideration. I am aware that we have limited life remaining and there is a need to both reap and give more. Meanwhile, some commitments just endure such as a commitment to remain in Brisbane, a city I now deeply dislike, as my mother’s life ebbs with dementia. My older sister recently passed away and a wave of sadness has swept through the family. Her health, capability and vitality had been deteriorating and she seemed to retreat into a safe and predictable cocoon. As she retreated, we could feel an absence and silence …
placeblog 
Posted on 18/01/2023
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